Journal #2: after reading Chapter Two

"This is hell. Today, in our times, hell must be like this. A huge, empty room: we are tired, standing on our feet, with a tap which drips wyhile we cannot drink the water, and we wait for something which will certainly be terrible, and nothing happens and nothing continues to happen. What can one think about? One cannot think any more, it is like being already dead. Someone sits down on the ground. The time passes drop by drop."
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Chapter two of Survival in Auschwitz was about Primo Levi's first impressions of the Auschwitz concentration camp, and the few months after that. While I read this, I tried to put myself in their situation and I tried to imagine what it would be like if one day, everything that I had, and everything that I loved was taken away from me. To be honest, I think I would have blamed God. I think I would lose faith in Him, angered that he allowed this terrible tragedy to happen. I would have been convinced to think that there was in fact no God, and I had believed in a fake figure all my life. I would just be angry at everything around me.

What stil amazes me everytime I hear about the Holocaust is how the Nazis could be so cruel to another human being. Although the Jews were of a different race, it still didn't change the fact that Jews were equivalent human beings. Did the Nazi soldiers not feel guilty at night? How could they live on, knowing that they had teared up families and taken millions of lives? How could they stand to look at themselves in the mirror and see their own reflections?

It really scared me at how cruel and evil human nature could be.

Journal #1: after reading Chapter One

"Sooner or later in life everyone discovers that perfect happiness is unrealizable, but there are few who pause to consider the antithesis: that perfect unhappiness is equally unattainable."

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This quote touched me the most in Chapter One was because this was from a man who had suffered for years at Auschwitz. There are many who think miserably that perfect happiness cannot come true, but there are few who consider the opposite, like the quote says. When I'm in a difficult situation, I think pessimistically and think that God is cruel for allowing such bad things happen to me, but, compared to what Primo Levi had to go through in Auschwitz, my troubles are nothing. This quote gives me hope that no matter what my troubles are, they are temporary and cannot lead me to a miserable, no-happy life. I should be thankful for everything I have around me, and I should never give up, because although I might not be able to get perfectly happy, at least I won't be completely unhappy.

Journal #0: after watching the documentary

Even before reading Survival in Auschwitz and watching the documentary, I had heard about the atrocities done towards the Jews by the Nazis. I had heard how the Jews were forced to be sent to concentration camps, and how they were forced to work in harsh conditions. I had heard of how women and children were fooled into taking "showers" upon their arrival to these camps, but were in fact going to their deaths as they painfully inhaled poisonous gases that made all their organs bleed. I thought I knew pretty much all that there was to know about concentration camps...

A few weeks ago, I happened to watch the Count of Monte Cristo on TV. Although I had watched the movie many times, to me, it was one of those movies that never got boring. The story is about a man who was wrongly framed for committing treason by his best friend. In his thirteen years of being sent to prison, he meets a priest who gives him a map to hidden treasure in the island of Monte Cristo. With the help of the priest, the man escapes prison and finds the treasure. When he returns to his hometown, with his treasure, he decides to plan revenge toward everyone who destroyed his life. In the end, he is able to regain more than what he lost. As I watched this, I once again thought about how God always knows the truth, and that he will bring justice.

However, when I watched the video, I was deeply angered, if that's the right word to use, about how only 10% of the SS guards were ever prosecuted for their actions. During the Holocaust, they had committed more sins than the "friend" in the Count of Monte Cristo, yet, not even half of them were punished. I kept thinking to myself, "How could God let this happen? I thought he was supposed to be fair..." I didn't blame the group of men who decided to take matters into their own hands and chase after SS guards themselves. I didn't blame the Jews for losing faith in God in Auschwitz. How could a God be so cruel and allow this to happen? In some ways, I found myself agreeing with them...